The Art of Charm | Social Science | Cognitive Psychology | Confidence | Relationship Advice | Behavi...

The Art of Charm | Social Science | Cognitive Psychology | Confidence | Relationship Advice | Behavi...

By: Jordan Harbinger and The Art of Charm

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Social science, behavioral economics, cognitive psychology -- sound complex? Let's fix that. The Art of Charm Podcast is where self-motivated guys and gals, just like you, come to learn from a diverse mix of experienced mentors, including the world's best professional and academic minds, scientists, innovators, coaches, relationship experts, entrepreneurs, bestselling authors, and other brilliant minds. This show will make you a higher performer, a better networker, a deeper connector and, most importantly, a better thinker.

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Timothy Snyder (@TimothyDSnyder) is the Housum Professor of History at Yale University and author of Black Earth: The Holocaust as History and Warning and On Tyranny: Twenty Lessons from the Twentieth Century. "Americans are no wiser than the Europeans who saw democracy yield to fascism, Nazism, and communism. Our one advantage is that we might learn from their experience." -Timothy Snyder The Cheat Sheet: Democracy has to be an ongoing activity -- not a waiting game for the next election cycle. Understand how fragile a democratic republic can be against the concentrated efforts of would-be tyrants -- and that the United States is not immune to their strategies. Take these small actions every day to ensure we're doing our part to maintain an open and free society. Learn how to consume information critically in a "post-fact" world. Recognize the scary parallels between historic catastrophes and current events. And so much more... Full show notes at https://theartofcharm.com/629/ Find out more about the team who makes The Art of Charm podcast here! Learn over 500 subjects (no tests or homework!) at The Great Courses Plus -- The Art of Charm listeners get one free month + 50% off three months here! If you're a business owner, did you know your payments solution can be an engine for growth? Rethink payments with Braintree. Find out more at braintreepayments.com/forbes! Distinctive style meets unique spirit in the all-new crossover Toyota C-HR. Check out Toyota.com/C-HR to learn more! Does your business have an Internet presence? Now save a whopping 50% on new webhosting packages here with HostGator by using coupon code CHARM! The first 250 people who go to PodcastOne.study and complete the short survey will get a $25 gift card to Restaurant.com — after completing the survey, you will have the option of entering a sweepstakes for a $250 gift card! Get started here! Free yourself from typing notes, reports, and documents by going with the transcriptionists we trust here at AoC: TranscriptionOutsourcing.net -- 99% or higher accuracy guaranteed! HELP US SPREAD THE WORD! If you dig the show, please subscribe in iTunes and write us a review! This is what helps us stand out from the crowd and help people find the credible advice they need. Review the show in iTunes! We rely on it! http://www.theartofcharm.com/mobilereview Stay Charming!

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Cultivating empathy is crucial in developing solid relationships in our personal and professional lives -- but what exactly is it, how is it different from sympathy, why did Michael Ventura found a company based on it, and what steps can we start taking today to work on it? What to Listen ForWhy getting it wrong is human and how it can enable you to embrace making mistakes.How does being vulnerable help to motivate those around you?What is the core principle of empathy?The seven archetypes of empathy as described in Michael Ventura’s book, Applied Empathy, and how knowing them can improve your relationships inside and outside the office.What one exercise can you start doing right now to be more present?How a severe injury and Eastern medicine altered the course of Michael Ventura’s life to lead him to found Sub Rosa and writing Applied Empathy.What empathy is NOT.Empathy versus sympathy and why sympathy leads to disconnection instead of connection.How do sociopaths use empathy against us and the red flags to look for.Michael Ventura explains how to cultivate empathy in larger groups.What one tip does Michael Ventura recommend to everyone to start improving their listening skills NOW which he also uses himself? Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the shoes of another person in order to understand WHY that person is feeling a certain way. While it often gets mixed up with sympathy, the effects they have are polar opposites: empathy allows you to connect with others while sympathy leads to a disconnect. Fortunately, once empathy is clearly defined and you understand the variety of examples as well as start taking steps to work on your ability to empathize, you will quickly notice the relationships in your life grow and strengthen. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RXBAR wants to build things the right way. RXBAR believes in the power of transparency, and lets the core ingredients do all the talking with all of them listed on the front of the packaging. For 25% off your first order, visit RXBAR.com/aoc AND ENTER PROMO CODE: AOC AT CHECKOUT. Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Resources from this Episode Applied Empathy by Michael Ventura https://appliedempathy.com/ Sub Rosa - Michael Ventura’s company https://wearesubrosa.com/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ajharbinger Johnny on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/john.dzubak

Technology in the digital age has made it easier than ever to form new connections and stay in touch with old ones, but it’s also led to increased loneliness and flakiness as people rack up more screen time and less face time, so why is this, why is showing up so important in deepening your connections with others, and what does showing up actually mean? Unfortunately, you may be paying the price of not knowing what that balance looks like if you’re not making a conscious effort to make new connections, deepen your existing ones, and actually show up for the people in your life. What to Listen For:Why is digital communication made to make you feel good and not the person you’re talking to?Why do people flake and how do we overcome that flakiness?How can we deepen the connections we already have?Why do we tend to lose friends over time?The value of getting comfortable saying NOWhat does “showing up” for your friends actually entail?The tools to turn acquaintances into true connections and salvage friendships that might be drifting awayWhy is it more important to be there for the defeats rather than the victories?What one thing can you say to someone going through a tough time when you don’t know what to say Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity for everyone — both men and women — to create accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today theartofcharm.com/challenge. Sponsors: Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you’ll love! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. Warby Parker has prescription eyeglasses starting at $95 Fast, free shipping both ways. Go to warbyparker.com/aoc to get started with your free at-home trial. Resources from this Episode If you’re wondering why you’ve lost friends in adulthood, this is probably why by Jackie Luo A More Or Less Definitive Guide To Showing Up For Friends by Rachel Wilkerson Miller, Anna Borges, Terri Pous, Gyan Yankovich Jaron Lanier Trust and Betrayal - by Jillian Raftery, based on research by John Gottman Trust and The Marble Jar Video - Brene Brown Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi

We all rely on 3 levels of connection when it comes to meeting people -- but what are they, do we have to follow them in order, and how do we know what level we’re on with someone? WHAT TO LISTEN FORWhat are the 3 levels of connection and why is it important to follow them in order?Is it possible to form a deeper bond with a stranger in 45 minutes than the bond you have with your closest friend?What mistake do many of us make when first getting to know someone and why can it cause a connection to fall apart in seconds?How do we encourage vulnerability from other people so that we can strengthen our relationships?What types of questions should you ask in order to build strong connections?What is the primary driving force behind building connections and being vulnerable?How does comfort with shame and embarrassment build deeper connections? Building great connections with new people can seem like navigating a maze if you don’t understand how connections are built in the first place. When you’re in a maze you can’t see where you started, you can’t see where the exit is, and every turn you take looks like the last one. Once you understand the 3 levels of connection, however, you go from being stuck in the maze to looking down on it. Connection is directly related to vulnerability, and when you’re comfortable being vulnerable at each level you’re able to confidently guide the other person through the maze as you learn more about each other and develop a solid bond. PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR FULL SHOW NOTES AND FEATURED RESOURCES Share your vulnerabilities, victories, and questions in our 17,000-member private Facebook group at theartofcharm.com/challenge. This is a unique opportunity where everyone — both men and women — celebrate your accountability on the way to becoming the best version of yourself. Register today here! https://theartofcharm.com/challenge/ A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZipRecruiter will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Calm includes guided meditations and Sleep Stories to help you reduce anxiety, lower stress and sleep better. AoC listeners can get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at calm.com/charm. Get started today at calm.com/charm. Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! MORE ABOUT THIS SHOW Think of the 3 levels of connection like a roadmap. If you were in the passenger seat of a car and you were telling the driver how to get from point A to point B, where would you start? Ideally, you’d find your current location, point A, on the map and start giving directions from there (or pull out your smartphone because this isn’t 1999, type the destination in, and hit enter, but stick with me). If you tried to give directions starting from point B, or somewhere in between points A and B, you wouldn’t go anywhere, the driver would look at you confused, and she might just get out of the car and let you figure it out on your own. YOU HAD ONE JOB! Anyway, the same goes for the 3 levels of connection. If you’re going to start building a connection you must start at the beginning: the first level. Light Disclosure “In order for vulnerability to happen there’s gonna have to be some risk involved,” Johnny states, “and that’s what’s scary about all this. So, the first level that we’re discussing is lighthearted, fun, amusing anecdotes about yourself and the world around you.” Think of an embarrassing story from when you were younger. Maybe you were running a mile in PE (physical education) and tripped in front of the whole class and everyone laughed at you. Maybe you tried to cut yo

In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) wrap up September’s month of Emotional Bids. Before answering listener questions, they speak with Andrea Lee (andreajlee.com), an accomplished coach, successful author, and violence prevention expert. From difficult personal conversations to work-related challenges Andrea believes that the RIGHT use of power - “emotional leadership” is crucial as we try to navigate.  Without it, we end up with the abuse of power and interactions that can lead to emotional abuse. Andrea draws on her personal experience with difficult conversations from both ends of the spectrum - as both a victim and perpetrator of abuse.  She shares what it takes to redeem yourself and rebuild any fractured relationship. Throughout their discussion, AJ, Johnny, and Andrea go in-depth into these moments, discussing the critical turning points in their lives and how they were able to overcome them. And we answer listener questions about emotional bids and personal relationships. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FORHow can someone break the pattern of abuse in his/her life? Trigger Warning: this episode does contain a discussion about abuse. If this is a trigger for you please be aware. What is the first step to fully understanding a conflict with someone?Saying “yes” is important, but why saying “no” can be even more powerful, and how we can do it with compassion towards others. The Delta model - a 3-point tool that can be universally applied to the toughest conversations.  How can you prepare for a conversation you’re afraid of having with a loved one, partner or colleague. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to Blinkist.com/AOC to start your free trial or get three months off your yearly plan when you join today. MeUndies are The World’s Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber.To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! RESOURCES * Andrea J. Lee - https://andreajlee.com * “We Need to Talk: Your Guide to Challenging Business Conversations” by Andrea J. Lee - https://amzn.to/2NxY837 * “The Power of the Positive No” by Dr. William Yuri - https://amzn.to/28MB2g1 KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

On this episode of the Art of Charm, AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) take emotional bids to the next level by speaking with an expert on validation - one of the most important parts of human connection. That expert is Michael Sorensen, a marketing executive, personal-development junkie, and the author of the best-selling book “I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships. Michael shares his own experiences on the job and in his personal life that led him to writing his book and understanding just how important validation is in creating strong bonds with others.   WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR At the end of the day, it’s all about relationships. So, why is validation such a great tool for managing the important relationships in your life Where is one of the best places to start fostering good validation skills? What are some examples of something meaningful to say to someone that’s seeking validation? Why being silent can indirectly push someone away from you What is one of the most effective ways to understand someone seeking validation and emotional attention? When do you know it’s the right time to give someone advice? After taking a listen to this episode, take a moment to think of the best ways for you to make connections with those around you. Are you finding yourself opening up or closing off to those who seeking emotional attention from you? By becoming more aware of these hidden opportunities, we can take better advantage of them and create meaningful relationships.   A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! eero is the world’s first whole home wifi system that delivers hyper fast, super secure wifi to every room in your home. For free overnight shipping to the US or Canada, visit eero.com and at checkout select overnight shipping then enter CHARM to make it free! Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home. Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Calm includes guided meditations and Sleep Stories to help you reduce anxiety, lower stress and sleep better. AoC listeners can get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at calm.com/charm. Get started today at calm.com/charm. Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you'll love!   RESOURCES * Michael Sorensen - www.MichaelSSorensen.com * “I Hear You” Book: https://amzn.to/2p4Jwth * The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com   KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm   Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !!   ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

AJ (@AJHarbinger) and Johnny (@AOCJohnny) continue the theme of Emotional Bids by discussing practical ways to deepen and strengthen the connections with the people in our lives. Their source for this week’s discussion comes from a Gottman Institute article by Zach Brittle: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/ Whether it’s reciprocating feelings, talking about your day, or even better understanding physical touch, emotional bids help develop human-to-human connection and build long-lasting relationships.    WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * How can the use of emotional bids help us make better connections with the people? * What is the best way to react to an emotional bid? * We might not always be able to respond to someone’s emotional bid right away. How can we respond to someone to still show that we care? *What role does humor play in emotional connection? * What’s an example of an emotional bid that can be easily overlooked? * We know that being too vulnerable can often put someone off. What ways can you think of that can create this tension? Johnny and AJ share their own experiences with missing emotional bids over the years. Whether it's getting to know someone for the first time or diving into the deepest parts of a romantic relationship, knowing how to spot an emotional bid and how to react is crucial to creating a true bond with someone we care about. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. “Great protection. Fair prices. Easy to use. SimpliSafe is the right way to protect your home.” Go today to SimpliSafe.com/AOC to get your system today! Art of Charm listeners can get ANY PREMIUM INDOCHINO suit for just $379 + FREE Shipping when entering “CHARM” at checkout. This is 50% off the regular price for a made-to-measure premium suit.  Incredible deal for a suit that will fit you better than anything off-the-rack ever could. HoneyBook makes it easy for you to book your ideal client faster, more frequently, and with less legwork. Art of Charm listeners can get 50% off the first year of Honeybook with promo code CHARM. Sign up at honeybook.com RESOURCES * The Ben Franklin Effect - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_Franklin_effect * The Gottman Institute - https://www.gottman.com KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

In this episode, AJ and Johnny speak on the importance of “emotional bids,” and how to successfully identify and respond to them to create a deeper connection with the people around you. We start with a look at the clinical researcher, Dr. John Gottman and the study he conducted that helped define what an emotional bid is and why it is so important. Then, AJ and Johnny describe how we can positively or negatively respond to a whole array of emotional bids – and how that can make or break a relationship. We also learn how you don’t have to tell all of your deepest and darkest secrets to feel like someone truly understands you. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FOR * What is the simplest way to show vulnerability to someone we’re trying to connect with? * Are emotional bids always easy to spot? * How can you be more actively present in your relationships? * In the moments after you put down your phone, are you truly disconnected from it? * What is “turning towards”, and how can you create more of these positive interactions in your life? * What is one of the most important ways to connect yourself to someone else’s emotional bid? NOTES ON DR. JOHN GOTTMAN By watching a couple interact for just 3 minutes, Dr. John Gottman could predict with up to 94 percent certainty whether the couple would eventually separate, remain unhappy, or continue as a happily couple for several years. AJ and Johnny share examples of their own lives to better understand how vital emotional bids are in connecting with others and in creating value in a relationship. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Problems hiring? ZipRecruiter is the highest-rated hiring site in America. Try for FREE at ziprecruiter.com/charm where ZR will send your job to 100+ of the web’s leading job boards. Search free scholarships, browse course reviews, get 24/7 study help and rent textbooks for a fraction of the cost of your bookstore – all in one big education-redefining student hub. For $5 off your first month’s subscription, go to chegg.com/charm and use promo code CHARM Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp / theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp RESOURCES Dr. John Gottman’s 1999 study on couples www.gottman.com/about/research/couples/ KEEP UP WITH THE ART OF CHARM * The Art of Charm Challenge | theartofcharm.com/challenge * The Art of Charm Insiders | theartofcharm.com/insiders * The Art of Charm Bootcamp | theartofcharm.com/personal-bootcamp/ * Best of The Art of Charm Podcast | theartofcharm.com/category/best-of/ * The Art of Charm Toolbox | theartofcharm.com/category/toolbox-episodes SOCIAL MEDIA IG: @theartofcharm | Twitter: @TheArtOfCharm | Facebook: TheArtofCharm Wanna RUN A HALF MARATHON in a Halloween costume w/ AJ & Johnny? Register now at www.runrocknroll.com/los-angeles/ !! ENJOYING WHAT YOU HEAR? Your reviews are essential to us and for those discovering The Art of Charm. Go to theartofcharm.com/mobilereview to share your Art of Charm experience.

Christopher “Drama” Pfaff (@drama) is an entrepreneur, producer, and reality TV star. He is best known for his roles in the MTV reality shows “Rob and Big” and “Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory”. In addition, he has founded “Young & Reckless Clothing” as well a music production company and a podcast, “Short Story Long”. In this episode, AJ and Johnny ask Drama about his methods for overcoming social anxiety and how to reset people’s first impressions.  and how to take advantage of opportunities to expand upon them to create your own entrepreneurial endeavors. WHAT TO LISTEN OUT FORHow can you effectively get over social anxiety?After hearing about how Drama had the courage to skip college entirely and take a chance on LA, how can you transform a burning desire into purposeful action?One of Drama’s biggest tips: Don’t ever be afraid to ask! You never know who will say yes. How can you take this mentality into your life to find success in the career and dating world? What’s one of the best questions to ask yourself if you truly want to make an impact on the world?How do you create a day where you’re on the offense in your work life instead of the defense?How do you not seize up during conversations?How do you resist from taking charge over a room?How can you actively create adventures in your life? Through practice, courage, and just doing it, we learn how to create change in our lives and foster a connection with the people around us. This formula is incredibly important to build the foundation of The Art of Charm through each and every bootcamp. A WORD FROM OUR SPONSORS! Blinkist gives you access to key insights from 2,500+ bestselling nonfiction books, transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in just 15 minutes. Go to blinkist.com/aoc to start your FREE trial or get 3 months off your yearly plan. Browse the largest selection of audiobooks anywhere with Audible. Start your 30-day trial today audible.com/charm or text ‘CHARM’ to 500500 - and get your first audiobook for free. Stitch Fix is personal styling for men, women & kids that sends clothing to your door (with free shipping & returns). Get started at stitchfix.com/charm & find clothes you'll love! Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal development training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources “Short Story Long” podcast by Drama Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

In this episode, AJ and Johnny interview Alex Banayan (@AlexBanayan), author of “The Third Door” about his 7-year journey to interview some of the most successful people in the world. Alex shares detail about his struggles to reach his dream and the personal social barriers he had to break down to get there. Alex also shares advice, wisdom, and tricks of the trade from the people he interviewed, Bill Gates, Tim Ferriss, Larry King, and many more. What To Listen Out ForWhat is the “third door”, and how can you create one in your life?Having a great working relationship with your own fear and weakness can become a powerful tool to stop fighting with your insecurities, and to instead embrace them. In what way can you become more assured of yourself by letting go?As Larry King told Alex, technology has changed but people haven’t. How can you break through the barriers of technology to create a real connection with someone?Where do you see “the flinch” taking over in your life?As Alex can attest to, Tim Ferriss teaches us that persistence is not always going to get us what we want. What are a few key insights to be sure we don’t scare away the person we’re trying to get in front of?What’s a great way to create a relationship organically with someone online?AJ and Johnny discuss with Alex the parallels between their experiences and what they’ve learned through teaching at the AoC Bootcamp.   A Word From Our Sponsors! DesignCrowd helps startups and small businesses crowdsource custom graphics, logos, Web design — even tattoo designs! Check out DesignCrowd.com/Charm for a special $100 VIP offer for our listeners or enter the discount code CHARM when posting a project. MeUndies are The World’s Most Comfortable Undies, 3x softer than cotton, and made from sustainably sourced fiber. To get your 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee, go to: meundies.com/charm BAKblade 2.0 – a DIY back shaver includes a curved ergonomic handle to reach all those hard-to-reach areas. Use discount code CHARM20 for 20% off youer first order over $30 on bakblade.com. Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp Resources The Third Door, written by Alex Banayan When Things Fall Apart, by Pema Chödrön Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | FacebookWant to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now! Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.

How do you take a conversation to the next level and create real connection? In this episode of The Art of Charm podcast, AJ and Johnny explain 8 fundamental steps to develop a relationship beyond just a brief interaction with a stranger on the train, scoring a number at a bar, or a handshake at a business conference. Learn the social cues, the mental tricks, and the right body language to tee up a compelling conversation.   The 8 Steps Take from the following article - 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet   1. PAY ATTENTION - It’s simple but so easy to overlook. *What are a few ways for you to lock into a conversation?   2. SEEK FEEDBACK - From trusted friends to tell you the truth on what you can improve on. *Can you think of someone who you can talk to about this? Call them tonight!   3. ASK QUESTIONS - What’s everyone’s favorite topic? Encourage people to talk about themselves and share their experiences with you to create understanding. *How can you show someone your genuine interest in who they are?   4. REMEMBER YOUR NAME - What’s the best way to remember someone’s name and how can you use these tools during your next night out?   5. DON’T PRETEND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING - It’s the biggest turn-off of them all! *In fact, what’s one of the best ways to create a seamless and empathetic connection to turn someone one and create a connect?   6. CARE ABOUT OTHERS about others! Show appreciation for the people around you and let that bleed over into all areas of your life. *How can you create grateful positivity to spread over into your environment?   7. SEE A ROOM FULL OF FRIENDS - Visualize that at your next outing — treat no one like a stranger. *What’s one of the reactions that we have by becoming uncomfortable in a new environment?   **REMEMBER: This takes practice! If you expect everyone to treat you like a friend, you might set too high of an expectation, so take it in stride.   8. CONNECT IN PERSON. As much as we might want to, we can’t truly connect online! But it’s easy to be afraid of the risk and rejection of meeting in person. *In what ways can you pivot your body language to show true interest to someone you’re meeting in person?   This was a big episode, but don’t get overwhelmed! Focus on finding that one genuine friend and go from there. And remember: Humans are naturally bad at active listening, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself struggling along the way. Through these podcasts, we strive to give you daily hacks for your life that you can use to overcome the whims of your primitive mind and truly connect with the people around you!   Check out our bootcamp page to learn about the Art of Charm’s personal training! The Art of Charm Bootcamp   Resources   Articles from this episode! 8 Insanely Effective Ways to Connect with Anyone You Meet - “Lifehack” How to Make Friends, According to Science - “The Atlantic”   Keep up with The Art of CharmThe Art of Charm ChallengeThe Art of Charm InsidersThe Art of Charm BootcampBest of The Art of Charm PodcastThe Art of Charm ToolboxOn social media: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook  Want to RUN A HALF MARATHON in your Halloween costume with AJ and Johnny in LA? Register now!   Enjoying what you hear? Your reviews are essential to us and for those who haven’t discovered The Art of Charm podcast yet. Click here to share your Art of Charm experience.